As I grew, I came to learn that not everybody understood what I had to say, liked what I had to say, or cared about what I had to say. Not everybody accepted me for who Spirit made me and some tried to change me. Life was uncertain and the only thing I could count on, was that nothing would remain the same. Yet, there was Mum, loving and accepting me. Even when we couldn't be together, I knew in my heart that she was with me.
Once I blossomed into womanhood, my zest for life swept me away. I found myself enamored with this world and developed an insatiable desire to experience everything it had to offer. Well, experience I did, but along with that came much heartache. During this decade of "extreme living", many instances arose where my mother was able to share with me her greatest gift to me as a human being, along with her personal "Mother Mantra."
I tend to be quite earnest and serious. I have always believed in a great calling for my life and this gave me a determination to not only fulfill this purpose, but to fulfill it above and beyond the call of duty. Yes, I am an overachiever. Because of this devotion to my life, I have historically tended to take everything far too seriously. Not so with my mother. Her and I have been through some very difficult times in our lives. Some quite similar, others, not so much. The most noticeable difference though, has been our reaction to what is set before us. I get depressed. Mum laughs. Being a spirit who's very hard on herself to "get it right," I always tended to focus on what went wrong and how I could have done things differently. My mother always had this innate ability to extract not only the lesson, but the humor in it. I really came to admire this attribute in her and each year, I become a little more able to see the humor in life and its impermanence.
Regarding "Mother Mantras", mine was "Hunny, they loved you to the best of their ability. Maybe their ability to love just wasn't as big as yours." Of course, she had other favorite verbal nuggets of gold, but this is the one that I heard most often and was always most relevant and powerful in my life. I heard it many times throughout the years as I despaired over my fragile and unfulfilling relationship with my father. I heard it when I left my first husband, who was emotionally unavailable; And I heard it again when I left my second husband who was abusive and unfaithful. I heard it about my ex-stepmother who became a condemning force in my life and caused me much strife. What is most profound about this mantra though, is its truth. We are each on our own unique journey that is just as special as we are, and we are each in a different place in our spiritual perfecting process. Physical age has nothing to do with our capacity to love. A psychopath, for example, lacks the ability to experience love at all. So when one only pretends to love you but doesn't treat you in a manner that exhibits love, don't be sad. They love you to the best of their ability. It just so happens they have no ability to love. Jesus' ability to love was so grand it began a worldwide movement where participants strive to live the same way he did. The rest of humanity falls within these two polar opposites on the love scale. Sometimes we come across someone who possesses a greater ability to love than us and we may admire this, sometimes we love someone more than they could ever hope to love.
As a woman who now calls herself "Mother", my own precious sprites are quickly growing up and becoming more independent. Possessing the ability to see outcomes and consequences regarding decisions my children make, I grow even more in awe of my own mother. Her ability to remain neutral and quiet in the midst of possible devastation amazes me. This is a quality I aspire to achieve within myself, as I find I'd like to make all of my children's decisions for them so as to help them avoid heartache and strife. My mother always understood that I walk my own path and must make my own choices to learn and grow. She understands that her children only come through her but are not hers to control. She watched me stumble along my path more than any mother should have to. Yet through it all, she maintained her humor, love, support, wisdom and guidance.
Take some time this Mother's Day to reflect on your own mother. Almost everyone has at least one good memory with this woman who grew your physical body inside her womb and birthed it into this world. Even if your relationship was tumultuous from the beginning, her being the woman she is, made you the person you are today and that is a gift. You chose her because of the soul lessons she could teach you, so rejoice in that! There have been a lot of negative, unhealthy people in my life, but through it all, one thing remained constant - my mother's undying, unyielding love and acceptance for the spirit I am. She always believed in me and remains my biggest support and Captain of my Cheerleading Squad. I am eternally grateful for the relationship I have with you, the wisdom you've offered me, and the woman you are. I love you Mum!
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.
You're my cushion when I fall.
You help in times of trouble;
You support me whenever I call.
You have my total respect.
If I had my choice of mothers,
You'd be the one I'd select!
No comments:
Post a Comment